The author critiques 'The Courage to be Disliked,' highlighting its philosophical insights, particularly the concept of teleology, which focuses on the purpose of behaviors rather than their causes. The author argues that the book...
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Chris Lakin is the author of the Substack publication 'Locally Optimal', which focuses on human alignment and has hundreds of subscribers.
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The author reflects on their journey from emotional numbness to a heightened awareness of bodily sensations associated with feelings. Initially questioning their ability to feel emotions in their body, they realize that their numb...
The post discusses a mindset shift for reducing anxiety in dating by focusing on filtering for compatible partners rather than trying to convince someone to like you. The author shares personal experiences of feeling relaxed in da...
The post discusses eight bottlenecks that hinder individuals from unlearning therapy-resistant anxiety. It categorizes these bottlenecks into two phases: Readiness Work and Inner Work. Readiness bottlenecks include denial, hopeles...
An AI researcher discusses how gaining six extra hours daily has enhanced his social life, personal projects, and intuitive decision-making in work and dating.
4.4Choose unlearning
2025-08-25 • learning self-help mental health anxiety
The post discusses the concept of 'unlearning' as a means to overcome anxiety and other insecurities, contrasting it with the more common approach of 'learning' new techniques. It argues that many personal growth strategies focus ...
The author discusses the evolution of their experience with setting boundaries, transitioning from a feeling of effort and anxiety to one of ease and autonomy. They explore the mental processes involved in overcoming fears of nega...
The post discusses the concept of conflict anxiety, arguing that while conflict is often perceived as hard and negative, it can actually be approached with curiosity and openness. The author suggests that many conflicts arise from...
Breakthroughs are temporary and do not equate to lasting results, which are evidenced by significant life changes and achievements.
The author's attempt to matchmake 74 friends reveals the complexities of dating readiness and the challenges of translating vague preferences into successful matches.
0Aim at what you want!
2025-06-06 •
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The text discusses the concept of 'flaky breakthroughs' in coaching, meditation, and psychedelics, where people experience temporary insights or emotional releases that do not last. It highlights the lack of tracking and long-term...
0You are happy by default
2025-05-31 • philosophy happiness
The text challenges the idea that happiness is earned and argues that good feelings are the default state. It discusses unlearning unnecessary tension and self-acceptance as the key to happiness.
The text discusses the effectiveness of therapists and coaches, with the author claiming that the best therapists can facilitate 10x faster change than average. The author also mentions the potential of 10x coaches to help individ...
The text discusses the idea that social anxiety is not about being liked, but rather about avoiding being disliked. It explores the consequences of social anxiety and how it may be a rational strategy to avoid negative outcomes.
0Progress = Fewer Bad Moments
2025-05-07 • success anxiety self-doubt
The text discusses the misconception of progress and how it affects personal growth. It explains that progress is not a linear climb, but rather a decrease in the frequency of symptoms. The author shares personal experiences with ...
Chris and Joanna discuss the balance between flow and structure, feminine and masculine energies, boundaries, status, society, truth, and human evolution in a 2.5-hour conversation condensed into 20 minutes.
The text discusses the importance of teleological thinking in building AI systems, emphasizing the need for alignment first and intelligence later. It highlights the work of Softmax, a lab implementing teleological principles for ...
Chris Lakin offers training for existing coaches and licensed therapists interested in unlearning insecurities and using bounties or improved incentive-aligned payment structures with their clients. The training involves a share o...
Sid spent years trying to unlearn his socially avoidant behaviors through various methods, but only resolved his issue after spending a few hours talking to the author. He placed a bounty to resolve his romantic blocks and is now ...
The text discusses the author's approach to coaching and resolving chronic issues. The author emphasizes the importance of results and efficiency, and shares examples of clients who have resolved lifelong issues in one conversatio...
The text discusses unusual events and the planning required to make them successful. The author shares examples of how they planned and executed unusual events, such as a social aggressiveness event and an intentionally awkward fl...
Results-based coaching provides stronger evidence for effectiveness by incentivizing coaches to accurately predict who they can help and develop faster methods. The model is particularly well-suited for unlearning rather than skil...
Chris Lakin offers to help people unlearn lifelong issues relating to anxiety, self-loathing, insecurity, relationships, and flow. He sets a bounty on resolving issues and only requires payment if the client feels satisfied. The a...