The author shares a deeply personal account of grappling with their father's infidelity and the emotional turmoil it has caused within their family. After overhearing a conversation that revealed the affair, the author struggles w...
About:
Heather Havrilesky is the author of the website Ask Polly, a Substack publication. She has been publishing advice and wisdom since 2012, previously at The Awl and NY Magazine. Her work focuses on navigating the complexities of the modern world with compassion, realism, and an open heart. The site has hundreds of thousands of subscribers, and paid subscribers receive 1-2 weekly posts.
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A desperate sister writes to Polly seeking advice on how to help her alcoholic brother and their enabling parents. She describes the destructive cycle of addiction and denial within her family, expressing fear for her brother's li...
The article critiques the notion that self-help teachings promote selfishness, arguing instead that understanding and respecting one's own needs is essential for personal happiness. It emphasizes that people-pleasing is a deep-roo...
The post discusses the pervasive and damaging nature of shame, describing it as a shapeshifter that manifests in various negative emotions and behaviors. It emphasizes that shame is cumulative and can lead to a lifetime of regret ...
The post explores the author's journey of self-discovery and the challenges of codependency following a painful breakup, emphasizing the importance of living in the present.
A single woman in her thirties confronts her longing for love and family amidst societal pressures and personal insecurities about dating and commitment.
The post delves into the struggles of modern masculinity, highlighting the importance of authenticity and emotional vulnerability in relationships.
The post offers guidance on overcoming emotional trauma and chronic pain by embracing self-acceptance and connecting with one's body through vulnerability and commitment.
In this letter, the author, a 29-year-old aspiring writer, expresses feelings of uncertainty and a desire for guidance on how to pursue a writing career. They reflect on their past struggles, the importance of emotional awareness,...
The author, addressing a reader named TVH, reflects on the challenges of aligning personal values with professional life. TVH expresses a desire for freedom and connection through writing but struggles with financial instability a...
The author, addressing a reader who identifies as a 'Big Baby,' explores the complexities of managing intense emotions like love and anger. The reader struggles with the extremes of these feelings, seeking a balance that allows fo...
Megan Hellerer's 'Directional Living' offers a transformative approach to decision-making, encouraging individuals to prioritize curiosity and alignment over traditional achievement metrics.
The author expresses frustration over their struggles with gardening in a challenging environment, including limited access to water and community garden plots. They share their passion for plants and desire to work in environment...
The post encourages writers to embrace their unique journeys and combat self-doubt by focusing on self-acceptance and the joy of creation rather than comparisons to others.
The author reflects on the nature of sensitivity and emotional pain, arguing that being easily hurt is a sign of a heightened sensitivity to life and a gift that should be respected. They discuss how personal narratives can block ...
The author responds to a letter from a reader struggling with a friendship that has soured due to workplace dynamics. The reader feels resentment towards her friend, who has become competitive and undermining at work. The author e...
The blog post reflects on the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the author's personal experiences with marriage and divorce. It discusses the dangers of engaging with individuals who are already in relationsh...
A reader's reflection on her divorce reveals how unexpected challenges can lead to personal empowerment and the importance of sharing our struggles with others.
This post encourages embracing ambivalence, sobriety, and novelty while fostering intimacy, spirituality, and community in the new year.
Acknowledging and accepting one's feelings is essential for emotional well-being, as suppressing them can lead to increased anxiety and self-doubt.
The post discusses the mental patterns of perfectionism and overthinking, likening the mind to a factory that processes impressions into anxiety and panic. The author emphasizes the importance of recognizing and halting this cycle...
4.7Retire Your Inner Lawyer
2025-07-21 • self-help relationships communication
The text explores the complexities of human relationships, emphasizing that they should be transformative and challenging rather than comfortable. It discusses the tendency to idealize or vilify others due to past traumas and stre...
The post addresses the struggles of loneliness and the complexities of forming friendships, advocating for vulnerability and acceptance of rejection as key to building connections.
4.4Shame Is The Enemy of Joy
2025-08-12 • self-help emotional intelligence shame joy
The post discusses the pervasive and detrimental effects of shame on emotional well-being and personal fulfillment. It describes how shame can inhibit risk-taking, self-expression, and the pursuit of joy, leading individuals to fe...